Post Wanderlust= Karen Morgan 2.0

Day 2 from the Wanderlust: Second row from the back is me in the turquoise racerback tank with my knees held to my chest and my arms holding my knees. To my left is my beautifully blonde friend Judy B.

After tremendous deliberation about what I should share with you all about my trip, I decided let go completely and show you just who Karen Morgan really is. As the title of this post suggests, all I can say is my trip to Wanderlust was life changing.

I finally got to take classes with yoga teachers I had admired from afar for years, I got healed at the wellness center, discovered some amazing new music, met some INCREDIBLE like minded powerhouses, and I nearly died while climbing on Silverado Mountain. Sounds crazy and ridiculous all at the same time, I know, but bare with me, there are some big laughs to be had here.

I arrived Thursday night at about 1:45am, so my sojourn started off on Friday with an amazing Jivamukti class taught by Giselle Mari. Her class was supercharged and I walked out with the best “rocky mountain high,” ever.

I floated back to the room, picked up the Blackbird treats I had shipped ahead of myself, and spent the rest of the day catching up with my dear friend, Judy B. After we attended the “Off the Mat and Into the World” class, we showered up and got ready for the evening’s festivities.

We started off checking out one of our friend Tony’s bands, Hamsa Lila and they were incredible. Not only did they impress every single person in attendance with their huge other world presence, not a single person could keep still. Everyone was shaking it, especially the hula hoopers, as they played instruments that, at times, looked more like ten foot archery bows.

In fact, it was here that I met the amazing Jacquelyn Richey, the founder of ChakWave a gourmet juice company that has seven amazing blends, one for each chakra. Keep your eyes peeled, because you will be seeing more about Chak Wave here at Blackbird. Jacquelyn and I hit it off really well and I love her no-nonsense energy. The fact that she has a brilliant company designed to help others only heartened me to her more quickly.

Starving, we all agreed to get a light bite before heading to see my new favorite band, Pretty Lights. None of us had ever seen or heard Pretty Lights until we walked into the event and all three of us were blown away. It’s a DJ and a drummer and all I can say is they out shined all the other acts-including Moby. (Sorry Moby–you know I’m a fan, but Pretty Lights threw down!)

Before we hit the hay, we all agreed to take a nice hike up Silverado Mountain, from Squaw Valley to Base Camp, which was roughly a 1,500 foot hike and should take us about two to three hours, tops.

I awoke at 7:00am for my 8 am massage with Pocean and I’ve never started off my day in a better fashion. I don’t know if it was the the cool mountain air blowing over me or Pocean’s impressively strong hands, but I stumbled out of her tent feeling pretty damn good considering how sore I was. I felt so good, in fact, I made an appointment with another wellness expert at 9:45. It may seem over-indulgent, but I heeded the advice my friends gave me before I left: You have got to relax on this trip, Karen. I have been working so much, those closest to me were beginning to express their concern. So I smiled, made the 15 minute appointment, and ran back to the room so I could change for our hike and grab the 50 millet power bars and ginger snaps I was scheduled to deliver
to the Yoga Teacher’s Lounge.

I want to preface what I am about to say, first by saying that I am a very open minded person, but when someone claims they can heal a 16 year old injury just from touching me, it just sounds too good to be true, so I couldn’t help but be a little bit skeptical. But I had woken up with a touch of a rash on the left side of my neck, that was getting progressively itchier by the second, so I figured if this guy could get rid of that, then I’d believe that the deeper stuff was possible.

So I gave Garrett my laundry list of ailments: a 16 year old right shoulder dislocation and tear that had turned into tendinitis. Right hamstring tear that was still painful after two years. And that I had celiac disease so I kind of always had digestive issues. He asked me take my shirt off and to lay down. He started with my neck and spent a long time there, then moved down to my shoulders, first my right and then my left. Then he focused on my hamstring and my midsection.

The entire time, I maintained my steady, ujjai, oceanic breath as I silently meditated on the sanskrit prayer for compassion : OM MANI PADME HUNG. I figured I might as well get the most out of this since I’m trying it, so I just completely let go and invited the universe to do whatever it wanted with me.

As my session came to a close, Garrett placed his hands over my face. After all my years of yoga and meditation, the only colors I have ever seen in my third eye have been white, yellow and blue. When he sealed his session over me, my third eye became flooded, first with crimson, then magenta and then a blinding white, with a single purple dot in the middle that expanded and contracted with each breath that passed through me. Purple is the color of your crown chakra.

When I opened my eyes, I told him what just happened and he smiled, saying he saw my crown chakra open. When I looked around his tent, everything was super crisp-technicolor.

“Your neck actually had something very serious going on I had to pull out, so that’s why it took me so long.” I glanced at the clock. It was 10:50!
“Your right shoulder, as you said, had some really old build up, so I cleared that out as well. Your left shoulder was actually really strong. I even dislocated it to make sure there wasn’t anything hiding in the joint.”

“Wait, did you just say that you dislocated my shoulder?”

“Yeah.”

“But I didn’t feel it at all!”

“Yeah, I know–it happens,” he smiled.

With my mouth agape, I continued to listen as he went on:

“So, I followed the wounded energy to your hamstring and then your midsection, which was much easier to clear than your shoulder and your neck.”

“I’ve been through a lot in the last couple of years,” I replied, trying my best to be patient, but also trying not to freak out that my friends were waiting on me.

“I could tell.” Garrett said very matter of factly. “But you are going to be fine now. You have a lot of light in that little body.”

I smiled and said thank you and that I was sorry I had to hurry out, but that my friends were waiting on me. “I’m sorry it took so long, but I can’t rush these things,” he said.

“No, I’m glad you took your time, I genuinely feel MUCH BETTER!” I replied. “And since my neck is where my chakra for truth lies, it makes sense that you had the most clearing to do. The last two years have been all about clearing away all my negative, false relationships, including the ones I had with myself,” I matter of factly replied.

I didn’t want to tell him about my divorce and all the so called friendships that I lost when it was all said and done, but I deeply thanked him for helping me break through, claiming my highest truth and opening my crown chakra.

“Oh, and look,” he said, handing me a mirror. I turned my neck to the side and the rash that was beginning to crawl up my neck was almost completely gone.

“Oh my god!” I exclaimed. “That is amazing!” I smiled.

I quickly gave him my donation and dashed out the door to meet up with my friends. After my quick explanation, Lisa and Judy were totally understanding and asked for Garrett’s info right away. I refilled my water bottle, grabbed my camera and we all headed for Silverado Mountain in the bright sunshine with one of Lisa’s co-workers, Patrick, joining us.

For the sake of brevity, I’ll say this: our hike started off perfectly, then we lost the trail and it became a battle with ourselves to see if we would make it to the top.

Just after this picture was taken is when things got interesting. From left to right: Judy B., KM and Lisa H.

We stayed on the trail until we came to a clearing where we had no idea which way to proceed. We attempted to follow some animal tracks but had to turn back several times. Then, the group decided to just go straight up…

It didn’t take long for us to realize that we were more or less fucked. What should of taken us 2 hours to complete took us four and the terrain became nothing but sliding rock interspersed with foliage. If it wasn’t for the foliage, I know we wouldn’t of made it unscathed. It was the only thing keeping us attached to the side of the mountain.

Here’s the “oh fuck moment,” where even Patrick, an avid outdoorsman, had his doubts. Judy was trying to contact her family to let them know we were stuck on the side of the mountain in an outcropping of rocks and didn’t know if we would make it.

In truth, we can’t really explain the gravity of our situation to anyone because none of us got seriously injured and to an avid climber, our situation probably wasn’t all that perilous, but as I bore my hands ever deeper into the rocky soil looking for deeper roots to support me as I pulled myself up the mountain, when I looked down and a wave of vertigo consumed me, my fearlessness evaporated and I realized that with one false step, I could be gone. In a moment of morbid comic relief, I actually thought my tragic death would do wonders for my cookbook sales.

My laughter instantaneously dissolved as my thoughts immediately fixed on the prospect of not seeing my son, Leo, grow into a man, flooding me with emotion. I looked up to see where the rest of the group was. They were no where in sight. I called out to them and they responded, “we are here!” but they sounded so far away.

I closed my eyes and thought of the last hug I gave Leo before I left him at his father’s, breathing the smell of his sweet skin into my lungs.

“Mommy, you are the best mommy in the world and my skeleton loves your skeleton. Come home so my heart can be close to your heart.”

I promised him I would be home in three days.

With my eyes still closed, I leaned on the side of the mountain, clutching some wild sage and wept. I wept that I had sacrificed so much in the past two years and caused so much suffering for my beautiful child as we endured the divorce process. As the smell of the soil filled my nostrils, I silently allowed the tears to stream down my face as I suddenly realized that the true source of my sorrow resided in the fact that I’d been hiding from my true self, keeping her tucked away like a special dress that I bought in the hope of one day wearing it but never having the occasion to do so.

So I lay there and I breathed very slowly and very deeply until that dress bloomed over my yoga clothes, covered in dust from the climb but without a single tear or snag in sight.

When I opened my eyes, I steeled myself and said, “Karen Morgan, get your ass up this mountain!”

With each step, I began thinking about what I wanted to say about myself when I got home:

I am Karen Morgan and I am 31 years old. I have a six year old son whom I have rarely spoken of because my ex demanded that I protect his privacy by never posting pictures or stories about him. Since my divorce was finalized last December, however, I no longer need to worry that his father will punish me for doing so. But I also kept my son out of the bloggosphere for intellectual reasons. Public exposure is an intellectual decision, so out of respect, I wanted to allow him to decide for himself if he wanted to be included and explained to him that people we don’t know will be seeing these pictures if I put them up, so he needed to be comfortable with that. He said he was fine with that but that he wanted to see the picture first. I showed him a picture I took of him just before I left.

He smiled and said, “That was a fun day! Sure, it’s okay if you use that one, mommy.”

Leo in the hammock at Daily Juice.

I am a single mother and I am the owner and lone employee of Blackbird Bakery. I had an assistant for six months when I first opened, but since letting her go over a year ago, I have baked every single item I have sold and or given away by myself. I did not have a baking assistant to help me write or prepare the food for the 100+ photo shoots it required to produce the cookbook. Knoxy has been my loyal photographer for the last two years and Blair Richardson of Little Mule Studios has been my loyal graphics designer. Aside from that I have been a one woman army.

I’ve been a loner not because I think I’m better than anyone else-it’s quite the opposite. I kept to myself because I emphatically believe that all great works of art requires a unique perspective. In order to attain a truly unique perspective, isolation is the safest environment for this kind of artistic cultivation.

I didn’t want what I was putting out there to be swayed by anyone else’s opinion because when you are online, corruption is pervasive, so I kept to myself for fear of loosing my vision. I wanted Blackbird to be something completely different and so I purposefully kept to myself.

So I apologize to all the gluten free bloggers of the world for my stubbornness, but once I ideologically make up my mind, I stick to my guns.
Plus, I was extremely depressed during my two year divorce, so I found it rather shallow of me to be reaching out to my fellow bloggers when I was going through a very tumultuous time where I literally couldn’t see the forest for the trees.

I created Blackbird Bakery as a haven for those who require a change of diet because I was dissatisfied with the quality of gluten free products that were and are available. I wanted to empower my readers with the idea that they have the power to create a gluten free lifestyle that is delicious, beautiful living, by infusing my recipes with my love of art, music, and eco-friendly living. I believe all the arts are meant for everyone. It doesn’t matter if you are rich or poor, everyone can appreciate beauty in all its fantastic forms.

I believe that the by-products of plastic is the leading cause of auto-immune disorders, including ADD, ADHD, autism and celiac disease. I believe that plastics are destroying our oceans and have found their way into our food supply. I believe a food and environmental revolution is upon us.

I believe everyone should consider living a gluten free lifestyle to help improve their overall health and help reduce healthcare costs.

Contrary to what many may think, I have practiced yoga for almost eight years. I prefer power vinyasa yoga and have studied Ashtanga, Hatha and Anusara extensively. I believe that our intuition is the key to our most powerful selves.

This was my interior monologue, or “the coal that made my train roll.”

Cheesy as it may sound, this is the Me I found on the side of Silverado Mountain and as we crested high camp at 8,200 feet, I knew I’d never put her away ever again.

Deliriously thirsty, when we got to the top of the mountain, there was this really quiet yoga class going on and here come these four dusty, sunburned wild things over the top of the mountain, with our arms in the air, yelling “Fuck Yeah! We made it!” A pall fell over the class and we received more than a few death stares. We secretly didn’t care all that much, but kept our eyes down and marched inside in search of water.

This was my Saturday. I had to race to the bottom of the mountain to prepare for the Uncorked wine tasting where I’d be handing out my almond biscotti. We made it down just in time and the tasting was amazing. The 200 biscotti I provided disappeared in under an hour.

The following morning, Judy and I got to experience the AMAZING Rusty Wells. He’s so good, little else needs to be said except that he has this ineffable gift for getting everyone in the room to burn their brightest.

After a quick shower and an equally quick packing job, Judy and I walked around the yoga village and handed out bags of treats to my friends. Peter Melton of Klean Kanteen, Kyle Finch of Be Love for All and Adam from Trunk.

Then we walked by the Yoga Lounge one last time to see if all the treats had been enjoyed and saw Adrian Grenier seated at a table with the last few millet bars right in front of him.